On Friday morning, I sit. By the end of Thursday each week, I’m easily over 40 hours on the job, so on Friday morning, I sit. My two oldest are let out at school and I begin to warm a seat at a local coffee shop. Private, quiet, thoughtful, at times emotional, contemplation, questioning, self-examination, reflective space. I sit for me. 

Today as I sit, I write. I’m often trying to discern why I have decided to write and share in this way, on this space. Is it for me? Yes. And for others? I hope so. What do I think I have to offer? For me: space. For others: a more difficult question to answer, at least today. I worry about being/appearing self-serving, self-promoting, self-glorifying, selfish. Remember the advice given, “You are not as good as you think you are.“

I have had the great fortune to know and work with colleagues who pin their work for students to their hearts, deliver on that promise, and seek no reward beyond what we receive in the service of others. Brian, Charlie, Jeff, Jody, Jayne, Amy, Laura, Rebecca, Becky, Stacey, Jen. Many others. I hope that I too do this. And that I can share this way of being with others who are in the service of our students and our institutions. In this, a bit of contradiction. Reflection. I sit for me.

This place is typically quite busy, near campus and a main intersection in our community. And yet, private. Quiet.

As a profession, as educators, we do difficult work. I sit because I am tired. Emotions are near the surface. When asked how things are going, it has become more difficult to say that we are doing well. More difficult to keep that ever-full glass of mine, full. It becomes more challenging to manage “the grey” of our work. To be present in the ambiguity of the daily trials of our students, the shifting landscape of budgets and mission, what it means to try to do this work well. Sit, and be.

The sky is a brilliant blue and the sun so bright, I squint a bit even though I experience from inside. And it is cold out there, the kind of cold you will only find here.

I sit for me. And I sit for others. Without being self-serving, self-promoting, self-glorifying, or selfish. If I don’t take the time to care for me, I cannot be of service to others. There is always more work, always concerns to be addressed, always simply-more. And that is our challenge. I choose to take the time to sit. Choose to reflect. Choose to be refreshed. On Friday morning, I sit.